Miracle..?

I did it..
2 days 2 nights without sleep..
Colourful notes..
Just for her..

Proven a concept..

---------------------------------------
ABCDEFG
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
---------------------------------------

Yet..
It just brought more tears..

I hate myself even more now..
Why am i that stubborn?
Why am i that stupid?

Yes, for a girl i love..
I answered it confidently..
And..
This is what i got now..

-----------
Nothing..
-----------

Now..
I just hope for miracles..
I can't do anything now..
Tired, Exhausted..

But..
What I can do is..
Pray hard for her in final..
Wish her always pink in health..

----------------------
To Her,
All the Best.. <3
From Jaymon
----------------------

Jaymon
Signing off

Done,,, And for a moment...

Ya, done..
So now..
I have to wait..

And partially I just found out that...

-------------------------------
I need you even more now...
-------------------------------

Perhaps
Things might not be going well along the road

Perhaps
Sometimes quarrel or arguments might happen

Perhaps...

Don't worry
Everything will be very fine
Trust me

-------------------------------
Rating of the day : 7/10
Comment : Still not good enough, but good job, tried your very best.
-------------------------------

Nitez

Jaymon
Signing off

Close2Far?

Em...
So what now...?

The problem is...
Am I doing good enough for now?
Shall I do more? Or not?
I mean, it is like...
50 50...
I don't know =.=

------------------------------
I'm afraid of failing
seriously...
------------------------------

Just hopefully everything is going well =)

Jaymon
Signing off

Still not yet...

Not yet..
It is not over yet..
I can do it..!


SWOT Analysis

Well, after few weeks of 'evaluating' myself..
Result is out..
I have a lot weaknesses..
So..
Instead of relying on strengths to cover my weakness..
I should try to improve myself..
Turn weaknesses into strengths..
Ya, that needs time..

And..
A lot threats..
Gosh, this cause headaches..

Opportunities?
Chances are granted, yet I can't use it well..
Always fail myself at the very last second..
Yeah, I can't blame anyone.. Can I?

-------------------------------
To Jaymon,
All the best ya, you can do it!
From Jaymon
-------------------------------

Signing off

Down

Shyt me..
Emo cause of little thing..

Shan't I just act as if nothing happen?
Can't I just enjoy with them?
Does this thing really affect me?
Is there really a need to do this?

I don't know..
I don't want to say 'no'..
I don't want to miss a thing..

But
In the end
I did it
Brilliant
Awesome
Excuses
Nonsense

What am I trying to do now?

I hate them, I hate myself.

Jaymon
Signing off

Flash caught

Awaken by my bro

-----------------------------------------
These flashes will just make you blind
or deaf
or paralyze you
temporary and indirectly
-----------------------------------------

Indeed
Doing something without thinking is
Stupid, Immature, Idiotic
It just can't bring you a positive result

Very lucky I have my friends around me
Yours advises and comments
I had received them and taken into account
Thanks again guys and girls

So now...
Study first ._."

Jaymon
Signing off

Tiny Flash #2

So, what should I do?

One thing which I confirm will do is...
Text message.. aka SMS..

But the content..
To be direct? or to be indirect?
To be straight? or turn around a bit?

Well either of it
it doesn't guarantee a higher success rate
not even raising 1% for her to accept me

It is not I have no choices
But this kind of feeling
Somehow drive me crazy

To be honest
I hope she accepts me
Cause u know what?
Feeling wont be wrong..

I can do it, yes.
But shall I do it?
Exam is coming...

I am blank now...

Jaymon
Signing off

Tiny Flash...

Sometimes
You just have to sing it out...

----------
Baby, Baby,
Love can be so beautiful.
----------

Talked to her just now, a short while, not long
Just a sudden thought
I was a stranger to her

Ya, after all
We never talk to each other that much
Twice? Thrice?
...

I dunno...
She is a good girl...
But wonder, how she judge me...
And, another song...

----------
好想知道
你的一百分
会给怎样的人
----------

So how?
I need some advises..
Or perhaps
I should think about it after exam
Not now, not now..

.........
ARGH
I SARK!
FML!!!
.........

Jaymon
Signing off

Aiya Bad luck today ~.~

Bad luck...
In terms of Gaming...

Today I was soooooooo bored
Threw my books away
Went to my desktop
And lets GAMEEEEEEE

but...

1 - Bow bombed 'MapleStory'
2 - Cube Bow but still Epic 'MapleStory'
3 - Drop league 'StarCraft2'

Last but not least, waste time!!!
That is just bad =/

Nvm, think i should keep myself away from gaming
for the rest of the day
study ahh, no matter what!
Gambatte to myself!!!

p/s 1 - I wanna play L4D2... Wonder who can copy paste for me ~.~
p/s 2 - I miss her a lot ._. Can't i just confess? (LOL!!!)

Jaymon
Signing off

Love again...

Sad me
Fell in love again
In this stupid critical place
And stupid critical time

Made me insomnia for 2 nights
Thinking here and there
Good sign? Bad sign?
I dunno, just follow my heart...

Just hope that it doesn't ruin my exam mood...

Jaymon
Signing off

This April ._.

April fool 2011

First time ever I went to The Library

--------------------------
It is a pub, where you drink and chat at night
Ordered Deep Blue Sea, and Heineken
Not bad ._."
--------------------------

Being fooled by friend
Credits to Sharon and Tan -.-"

First time I got myself a new name - Jaymon

--------------------------
Ohya, why I name myself Jaymon
The main reason is...
Ya...
shorter name to replace 'jiajiamon'
which sounds childish
...
At least, Jaymon sounds better haha
--------------------------

Well, this is a good start actually
I dunno what to say, but, feel 'granted'
Everything just looks good and nice
I would never demand more from this...

Today
Went to Genting
Win money $_$
Got myself a new wallet
Buffet always the best
Some souvenirs for my friends too

Insonmia now
Dunno what to do except blogging =/
A bit caught cold -.-"
Nah nvm, I think...?

Stay happy, stay cool

Jaymon
Signing off

獅子座灰心了。。

灰心了..
沒想到..
這世界上竟然會有這樣的人..

就叫他Mr.X...

为什么讨厌他呢？

每次我和他吵架
因为双方都很好胜
所以可以一直吵下去
难得我为了不想和他吵
就放下自尊
说“算了，不和你吵了”
他竟然
踩多我两脚才“干厌”停下
真叫人不爽！

我最近因为一直筹备与coursmate一起gathering的事
有意见的，就只有这位Mr.X
批评我这个不好那个差
我反问：“那你举办试一下要不要？”
他却说：“没人叫你举办的，自己找工做，自己受苦”
生气+失望
我对他说：“既然我办的酱差，你还是不要来好了，免得你受委屈”
他的回答更夸张：“那我自己做Gathering咯，我们办同一天，来比比看谁的Event更出色！”
我心想：哇塞！还敢威胁我！没关系！不跟你计较！

最后一次和他一起去Gathering
应该是Jogoya的时候
隐约的，偶尔的，
当我望着他时
他都会对我摇头
这证明什么？
我办的差？还是又想批评我？
很想对他大喊：不爽就不要来啦！
灰心了...

还有
这世界上
会为了RM10和我闹翻的人
就只有Mr.X了
真的很无聊！！

这个星期
我在筹备着考试前和考试后的Gathering
不是说很忙啦
只是要Follow up一下下咯
我没邀请到Mr.X
也是很多人知道的事
那有没有人知道为什么我没邀请他呢？

-----------------------------
本来想说
这些事情，藏在心里就好
不用说出去的
痛苦的事，留给自己就好
-----------------------------

事情没有想象中那么简单
开始有谣言了
问题已经不是1+1=2那么简单了
心想：做坏人，就这一次吧
不想理会人家对我的看法了

我知道
当这件事传出去之后
Mr.X将会对号入座
并想要解释与澄清
那让我告诉你
你所做的每一件事，你自己最清楚
不需要否认，也不需要质问
对你这位连“Sorry”都不会说的人
我无话可说

灰心了？非常的
失望了？相当的
安静了，无言了
放下了，负担了

J2M, Signing off

Start of March...

Wow! I was actually NEVER update blog during last month aka FEBRUARY?!
Probably the excuse(s) i will use is :-
1) CNY not free lah (Mahjong!)
2) Valentine day go emo (LOL!)
3) Exam need study (zzz)
4) Project Assignment (wtf?)
5) Internship (Find company~)

Yeah, overall February is a good month for me, compare with January, it was absolutely GOOD! XD

Now March ady wor...

Actually I just found out something, about March...

- My 1st love is having her birthday this month...
Q: So, what shall I do with it? Her birthdate is just unforgettable, I still remember the time she was born (crazy dude... sotplug!). LoL.
What I have to do...?
Give her present? (Omg she's at London now, studying)
Or just simply greet her? (Ya, think I cant fly to London to greet her in front of her face :x)

Then next thing is...

- My 1st love had just broke up...
Q: CHANCE? (Whack myself)
I think, 5 years we never meet each other, since secondary school graduate...
Sometimes, it was just make me smile when I think of her (EEW Whack myself again!)
But, I believe that my 'soulmate' will come to me one day, and live with me for the rest of my life.
So, just let 'Sky' decide (swt... direct translate!)

Now, what shall I do again?

Yeah, still deciding. However, it is for me to know, for you to find out, as always :P

J2M, Signing off.

Bad January IHY!

January 2011..
Probably the WORST start of the year..

See what I have?
Break-up, argue, sick, treatment...
It is totally not like a normal person's life!

Faster pass ah January!!
Let February and Chinese New Year come A.S.A.P!

Memory..

Spin.. Spin.. Spin..
Like a Roulette?
Like a Carousel?
Or..?

I have been thinking lots of things recently..
Nothing to think..
Something to think..
Yet, no solution..
Yet, no answer..

'--I want something--'

Now, the concept is clear..
The content is empty..
I want it, yet I dunno why..
I got the reason wanting it, yet I dunno what I want..
A lot of crossroads ahead..

Is there a chance that..
The sandglass flow upward..?
Bring me Back to December (Taylor Swift)..
And enjoy myself..

Be it, laugh or cry..
Tears of sadness or joy..
I like the moments, I just like it..

'--So, Can I Have It? Yes? No?--'

Someone kept telling me..
'It is all over'
No.. It is not..
But now..
I am just someone without anything..
I lost a lot..

Even worse..
At the same time..
When I think about myself..
I think of others too..
What they feel if I do so..?

'--Why Not? and Why Yes?--'

Sweet and bitter memory..
I hate myself..

-Gaming-

Wtf Dream #2

Before I depart to 'another world'..
You phoned me..
Said nothing..
But.. Only..

'我愿意'

Then we remained silence..

Angry!

Still act as if nothing happen uh?
Gratz your f**king attitude fail my half a year plan~
F**k off idiot!

I know, the thing you cant get by yourself,
So you want me not to get it too uh? :3
Nevermind, I still have another option,
And that grants me more opportunities to have the things I want!!

Now, a f**ker like you will give lots of excuse,
I shall ignore you till I get the things I want,
Another half a year bah, A**Hole!

HaRu-hArU

Don't look back and leave..
Don't find me again and live..
Because I have no regrets from loving you,..
Take only the good memories..
I can bear it in some way..
I can stand in some way..
You should be happy if you are like this..
I become dull day by day..

Credits -> BigBang

MILO恋曲 - 前奏

我想要谈恋爱。。
因为我想随时随刻关心我喜欢的人。。
我不想要谈恋爱。。
因为我不想别人关心我。。

时日不多。。
时间过得很快。。很快。。
恋爱吗。。？

It's late..

Just realized..
I was the one who said it first..
That's why..
..

Maybe I should think deeper first before saying it out..
The consequences of losing her..
My days without it..
And.. A lot more..

Trying to cheer myself up..
End up failing myself again..
Yeah, it was me..
The bad guy..

Guess it is all too late after all..
I had made my decision..
I choose to live without it..
And this is what I get..

There's one more thing..
If I choose A, perhaps I lose only 4 person in that game..
But If I choose B, I lose everything in that game..

Never mind..
I knew I need to sacrifice things..
For my own good too..
Being selfish..
And disappear without telling..
That's me..

It's too late after all..
Just keep that question in my heart..
Let it disappear with me..

-Study-

Days without maple...

Ragnarok...
Movie...
Study!!! <-- Finally got time to do so!

A lot free time nowadays..
Going to get a part time job soon!
Part-Time Setup crew of KLCC!

Okay now I am ready with my new lifestyle!
Gambateh to all too!!

-brb movie then sleep-

Say it again.. Please..

Every day and night after that 'day'..
I wish to hear it.. again..
The magic word..

'Dar'..

Haha.. Guess I was dreaming again..
Be it 0.01% chance for me to hear it again..
Not from others but her..
I will wait..

-Dinner time-

Ragnarok!!

Though it is private server..
Playing it is far away more relaxing than playing maple!

~Sweet~

Wtf dream??!

Dreamt of her again..
Had another bf in maple..

I hate this a lot..
Hate myself a lot..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Lunch time ._.!

Lone-ly...

One week ady...
Alone...
Still not used to it...

Could I ask you to come back...?
No, I did something wrong...
I can't do that anymore...

But somehow...
I still need you...
Somehow...

I am still alone...

Look forward?

Perhaps I shall give up waiting those 'miracles' to happen?

Come on, I shall look forward and further instead of trying to fix things back.!

Those things are meant to be broken into pieces, but what I need to do now, is NOT fixing it back!

Hello future, I dun care it is short or long, just drop by to say hi!!

Lame!!!

Fuckers!

Planned something for 2 weeks.
End up being ruined by someone -
who dun even know what is cwkpq,
who nvr involve in planning,
who online just to throw tantrums on me!

Enough saying, i gave up wasting my time!
Brainless bullshit, goodbye!

To U, From Me.

Without you knowing...

I still like you, but I can't be with you..
I still need you, but I am shy to tell you..
I still miss you, like the day I wet my blanket..
I still want you, wish to see you everyday in maple..

I miss the day we mega each other..
I miss the time we hunt together days and nights..
I miss every words you told me..
I miss every seconds we spent together in maple..

Without you knowing...

It was just a dream..
A dream that last 1 month plus..

Thank you, again, thank you.
I had learnt a lot from this dream.

Wish you all the best in future,
be it virtual or real life,
All the best,
and Take Care.

Signing off,
Xiang

One Rainy afternoon...

I should back to my blog more often, update whoever still read/subscribe my blog...

Now, some up-to-date information about myself, whether u wanna know anot...

First, my health level is currently RED!!
Actually I do not know what's wrong with me..
Always not feeling well, headache, faint - most of the time...

Blood cancer...?

I duwan to think too much...
Check-up done, waiting now...
gonna see 中医 this week too...

A more critical question will be - can i stay alive till CNY...?

......

I should rest more and less gaming, I think..
But too bad, I miss those 'gamers'..
-Hand itchy-
-Double click game!-
-PIAK MYSELF!!!-

I am weak now..
And I still wanna try jogging later...?
-Pushing myself into hell huh...?-

Luckily, The God of Rain came, ask me to rest today...
So, I shall listen to Him, ha!

That's all for me now, wish me luck ya :P

Xiang