And I am not sure...

What to do?
Now I am, after so long, being indecisive again...
I cannot even get the facts right...

My mind is blur.
What shall I do now huh?
Helpless?
Being helpless?
Cannot help out?

---------------------------------------------
Listening to 'Paparazzi' by Girls' Generation, new song!
---------------------------------------------

Feel like...
A maze? A puzzle?

Oh no...

---------------------------------------------
Do not look back,
Look what's in front of you!
---------------------------------------------

By carrying all the stress and burden,
I am one step ahead again!
But now comes to the sickening question...

---------------------------------------------
'Am I doing the right thing? Yes? No?
---------------------------------------------

Plus...
I am not sure...
For every thing I did...

---------------------------------------------
What? Who? When? Where? Why?
---------------------------------------------

AM I REALLY DOING THINGS RIGHT?
I DO NOT KNOW!!!

---------------------------------------------
Raged!
---------------------------------------------

This is just, SAD!

Sleepless night x54321
Jaymon, Signing out.

故事背后...

我选择......

-------------------------------------------------------

再见五月，你好六月，
看起来有东西庆祝的样子！

呐，算了！
不知道这件事，
应该怎样开始说起...

有时想一想，
真的值得吗？
就为了一个‘她’...

让我把‘故事’,
变成‘结局’说说看...

-------------------------------------------------------

若我和她在一起了...

我会越来越了解她，
越来越欣赏她，
越来越喜欢她，
视她为公主似的，
疼爱她，珍惜她。

就算咱们有缺点，有不足够的地方，
没关系，一起进步，一起改善缺点，
做到这点，就没有不可能的事了！

(纸上谈兵？不对。
我相信，我绝对能够做的到！)

-------------------------------------------------------

若我和她不可能在一起的...

难过，痛哭，
是肯定有的，
与朋友聊天谈心，
把失落的心情，
抛越远越好...

然后，
提升自己，
让自己进步，成功，
朝自己的目标前进!

(说到做到？很难说。
至少我有这样的想法...吧...)

-------------------------------------------------------

想太多了！
没办法，我不是神，
没办法改变这结局...

唯一能够做的，
是把思念化为推动力，
毕竟，考试要到了，
先把这些复杂的事放在一边吧！
(的空再想！哈！)

-------------------------------------------------------

TVB名句！
～我喜欢一个人不一定要和她在一起～
～看到她幸福就行了～
～最好当然是可以在一起～

(特别是第三句，
超赞的！有同感咧！)

-------------------------------------------------------

一年多了，
我再次做出选择了......
这次，无论结局如何，
我不理，我不管，
这是我最后一次，
没三思的决定！

我选择......



Signing out,
Jaymon Lum

Raged...!

After so long, you guys finally got my nerves on!!
Last week was the most frustrated week I have ever been through!!
F**king course-mates and so-called-FRIENDS! You guys surely were brave enough!
Gave me such unpredictable memories just weeks before I graduated?!

1st!
Sorry without sincere is a bullsh*t to me! I remind you once again!
Do NOT ever think that saying 'sorry' is a potion for friendship-recovery!
This does not work on me EVERYTIME!

2nd!
Do NOT use me as a f**king tool!
Street Light? Garden Bulb?
GO BUY ONE PLEASE??!
Once I knew this, you are done for, so do our valueless friendship!

3rd!
PLEASE LEARN HOW TO SAY 'THANK YOU'!
Help you loads of times for ZERO return!
Was not expecting anything but smallest appreciation from you!
BUT U F**KING SH*T GO AND PISS ME OFF, AGAIN AND AGAIN?!
FOR YOUR CONCERN, IT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!

I AM OUTTA HERE!

P/S : This post is only freaking dedicated to 3 person. Only one small week, they can cause such troubles on me. Never mind, I will not revenge. Take this as experience, and that's all.

FRIEND-ZONED!

Jaymon,
Signing out.

Back from Spring Memories..

Well, exactly one year...
After 'that' significant event in my life...
I am back to blog!

And I guess, no one is following my blog anymore.
Come on? One year MIA from BLOGSPOT? You gotta be kidding!
So, I am gonna tag this in FB everytime after updating my blog.

Ohya, forgot something!

1st time make something random by myself..
Acceptable uh..?

Back to topic.
Summary of why I MIA for one year... 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 1) Internship

 Went to a good company, became an audit trainee, made friends there.
Thanks again to all managers/seniors/juniors in audit, tax, secretary department, for assisting me in my audit fieldwork and provide guidance whenever I need it.

 2) South Korea Winter Trip with my family!

Cool! Freezing!
For the 1st time in my life,
- Saw snow poured down!
- Had snowball fight!
- Snow skiing!
- Ate kimchi!
And many many more!
Enjoyable moments were short yet memorable!

In Front of A Restaurant Around MyongDyeung Street

Cosplay! As Korea Traditional Emperor? 

On Top Of Snow Mountain Near DMZ! Freezing!

Hugging A Huge Snow Rock!

Pulled Down A Sharp Ice Like A Boss?

Skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~~~

Nami Island - Pinetree + Bridge Covered by Ice!

Ok that's enough I guess.

More pictures? In my Facebook photos~

3) 2012 New Year Resolution

Okay, this was suppose to be something headache!

Yet without further thought, I had set a few for myself...

(i) Get good result in my final semester, at least 3.50

(ii) Write 5 songs (accumulated since year 2008...)

(iii) Start a good relationship with... (In short, get a gf)

Well, regardless possible or not, 

I'll inform you all during end of this year.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all I guess.

-Wait! Why 'Spring Memories'?!-

Oh.

In fact, since that 'significant event' which happen during spring last year,

My life was dull, colourless, bored,

I was doing stupid things again and again,

I was not the same as the one I am...

But now,

I can stand on my own again,

It takes one year, and everything is alright now.

- Though, memories won't fade off just like that-

Whoops!

It's 2.45am now. 

I shall stop here :)

Jaymon, signing off.

Miracle..?

I did it..
2 days 2 nights without sleep..
Colourful notes..
Just for her..

Proven a concept..

---------------------------------------
ABCDEFG
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
---------------------------------------

Yet..
It just brought more tears..

I hate myself even more now..
Why am i that stubborn?
Why am i that stupid?

Yes, for a girl i love..
I answered it confidently..
And..
This is what i got now..

-----------
Nothing..
-----------

Now..
I just hope for miracles..
I can't do anything now..
Tired, Exhausted..

But..
What I can do is..
Pray hard for her in final..
Wish her always pink in health..

----------------------
To Her,
All the Best.. <3
From Jaymon
----------------------

Jaymon
Signing off

Done,,, And for a moment...

Ya, done..
So now..
I have to wait..

And partially I just found out that...

-------------------------------
I need you even more now...
-------------------------------

Perhaps
Things might not be going well along the road

Perhaps
Sometimes quarrel or arguments might happen

Perhaps...

Don't worry
Everything will be very fine
Trust me

-------------------------------
Rating of the day : 7/10
Comment : Still not good enough, but good job, tried your very best.
-------------------------------

Nitez

Jaymon
Signing off

Close2Far?

Em...
So what now...?

The problem is...
Am I doing good enough for now?
Shall I do more? Or not?
I mean, it is like...
50 50...
I don't know =.=

------------------------------
I'm afraid of failing
seriously...
------------------------------

Just hopefully everything is going well =)

Jaymon
Signing off

Still not yet...

Not yet..
It is not over yet..
I can do it..!


SWOT Analysis

Well, after few weeks of 'evaluating' myself..
Result is out..
I have a lot weaknesses..
So..
Instead of relying on strengths to cover my weakness..
I should try to improve myself..
Turn weaknesses into strengths..
Ya, that needs time..

And..
A lot threats..
Gosh, this cause headaches..

Opportunities?
Chances are granted, yet I can't use it well..
Always fail myself at the very last second..
Yeah, I can't blame anyone.. Can I?

-------------------------------
To Jaymon,
All the best ya, you can do it!
From Jaymon
-------------------------------

Signing off

Down

Shyt me..
Emo cause of little thing..

Shan't I just act as if nothing happen?
Can't I just enjoy with them?
Does this thing really affect me?
Is there really a need to do this?

I don't know..
I don't want to say 'no'..
I don't want to miss a thing..

But
In the end
I did it
Brilliant
Awesome
Excuses
Nonsense

What am I trying to do now?

I hate them, I hate myself.

Jaymon
Signing off

Flash caught

Awaken by my bro

-----------------------------------------
These flashes will just make you blind
or deaf
or paralyze you
temporary and indirectly
-----------------------------------------

Indeed
Doing something without thinking is
Stupid, Immature, Idiotic
It just can't bring you a positive result

Very lucky I have my friends around me
Yours advises and comments
I had received them and taken into account
Thanks again guys and girls

So now...
Study first ._."

Jaymon
Signing off

Tiny Flash #2

So, what should I do?

One thing which I confirm will do is...
Text message.. aka SMS..

But the content..
To be direct? or to be indirect?
To be straight? or turn around a bit?

Well either of it
it doesn't guarantee a higher success rate
not even raising 1% for her to accept me

It is not I have no choices
But this kind of feeling
Somehow drive me crazy

To be honest
I hope she accepts me
Cause u know what?
Feeling wont be wrong..

I can do it, yes.
But shall I do it?
Exam is coming...

I am blank now...

Jaymon
Signing off

Tiny Flash...

Sometimes
You just have to sing it out...

----------
Baby, Baby,
Love can be so beautiful.
----------

Talked to her just now, a short while, not long
Just a sudden thought
I was a stranger to her

Ya, after all
We never talk to each other that much
Twice? Thrice?
...

I dunno...
She is a good girl...
But wonder, how she judge me...
And, another song...

----------
好想知道
你的一百分
会给怎样的人
----------

So how?
I need some advises..
Or perhaps
I should think about it after exam
Not now, not now..

.........
ARGH
I SARK!
FML!!!
.........

Jaymon
Signing off

Aiya Bad luck today ~.~

Bad luck...
In terms of Gaming...

Today I was soooooooo bored
Threw my books away
Went to my desktop
And lets GAMEEEEEEE

but...

1 - Bow bombed 'MapleStory'
2 - Cube Bow but still Epic 'MapleStory'
3 - Drop league 'StarCraft2'

Last but not least, waste time!!!
That is just bad =/

Nvm, think i should keep myself away from gaming
for the rest of the day
study ahh, no matter what!
Gambatte to myself!!!

p/s 1 - I wanna play L4D2... Wonder who can copy paste for me ~.~
p/s 2 - I miss her a lot ._. Can't i just confess? (LOL!!!)

Jaymon
Signing off

Love again...

Sad me
Fell in love again
In this stupid critical place
And stupid critical time

Made me insomnia for 2 nights
Thinking here and there
Good sign? Bad sign?
I dunno, just follow my heart...

Just hope that it doesn't ruin my exam mood...

Jaymon
Signing off

This April ._.

April fool 2011

First time ever I went to The Library

--------------------------
It is a pub, where you drink and chat at night
Ordered Deep Blue Sea, and Heineken
Not bad ._."
--------------------------

Being fooled by friend
Credits to Sharon and Tan -.-"

First time I got myself a new name - Jaymon

--------------------------
Ohya, why I name myself Jaymon
The main reason is...
Ya...
shorter name to replace 'jiajiamon'
which sounds childish
...
At least, Jaymon sounds better haha
--------------------------

Well, this is a good start actually
I dunno what to say, but, feel 'granted'
Everything just looks good and nice
I would never demand more from this...

Today
Went to Genting
Win money $_$
Got myself a new wallet
Buffet always the best
Some souvenirs for my friends too

Insonmia now
Dunno what to do except blogging =/
A bit caught cold -.-"
Nah nvm, I think...?

Stay happy, stay cool

Jaymon
Signing off

獅子座灰心了。。

灰心了..
沒想到..
這世界上竟然會有這樣的人..

就叫他Mr.X...

为什么讨厌他呢？

每次我和他吵架
因为双方都很好胜
所以可以一直吵下去
难得我为了不想和他吵
就放下自尊
说“算了，不和你吵了”
他竟然
踩多我两脚才“干厌”停下
真叫人不爽！

我最近因为一直筹备与coursmate一起gathering的事
有意见的，就只有这位Mr.X
批评我这个不好那个差
我反问：“那你举办试一下要不要？”
他却说：“没人叫你举办的，自己找工做，自己受苦”
生气+失望
我对他说：“既然我办的酱差，你还是不要来好了，免得你受委屈”
他的回答更夸张：“那我自己做Gathering咯，我们办同一天，来比比看谁的Event更出色！”
我心想：哇塞！还敢威胁我！没关系！不跟你计较！

最后一次和他一起去Gathering
应该是Jogoya的时候
隐约的，偶尔的，
当我望着他时
他都会对我摇头
这证明什么？
我办的差？还是又想批评我？
很想对他大喊：不爽就不要来啦！
灰心了...

还有
这世界上
会为了RM10和我闹翻的人
就只有Mr.X了
真的很无聊！！

这个星期
我在筹备着考试前和考试后的Gathering
不是说很忙啦
只是要Follow up一下下咯
我没邀请到Mr.X
也是很多人知道的事
那有没有人知道为什么我没邀请他呢？

-----------------------------
本来想说
这些事情，藏在心里就好
不用说出去的
痛苦的事，留给自己就好
-----------------------------

事情没有想象中那么简单
开始有谣言了
问题已经不是1+1=2那么简单了
心想：做坏人，就这一次吧
不想理会人家对我的看法了

我知道
当这件事传出去之后
Mr.X将会对号入座
并想要解释与澄清
那让我告诉你
你所做的每一件事，你自己最清楚
不需要否认，也不需要质问
对你这位连“Sorry”都不会说的人
我无话可说

灰心了？非常的
失望了？相当的
安静了，无言了
放下了，负担了

J2M, Signing off

Start of March...

Wow! I was actually NEVER update blog during last month aka FEBRUARY?!
Probably the excuse(s) i will use is :-
1) CNY not free lah (Mahjong!)
2) Valentine day go emo (LOL!)
3) Exam need study (zzz)
4) Project Assignment (wtf?)
5) Internship (Find company~)

Yeah, overall February is a good month for me, compare with January, it was absolutely GOOD! XD

Now March ady wor...

Actually I just found out something, about March...

- My 1st love is having her birthday this month...
Q: So, what shall I do with it? Her birthdate is just unforgettable, I still remember the time she was born (crazy dude... sotplug!). LoL.
What I have to do...?
Give her present? (Omg she's at London now, studying)
Or just simply greet her? (Ya, think I cant fly to London to greet her in front of her face :x)

Then next thing is...

- My 1st love had just broke up...
Q: CHANCE? (Whack myself)
I think, 5 years we never meet each other, since secondary school graduate...
Sometimes, it was just make me smile when I think of her (EEW Whack myself again!)
But, I believe that my 'soulmate' will come to me one day, and live with me for the rest of my life.
So, just let 'Sky' decide (swt... direct translate!)

Now, what shall I do again?

Yeah, still deciding. However, it is for me to know, for you to find out, as always :P

J2M, Signing off.

Bad January IHY!

January 2011..
Probably the WORST start of the year..

See what I have?
Break-up, argue, sick, treatment...
It is totally not like a normal person's life!

Faster pass ah January!!
Let February and Chinese New Year come A.S.A.P!

Memory..

Spin.. Spin.. Spin..
Like a Roulette?
Like a Carousel?
Or..?

I have been thinking lots of things recently..
Nothing to think..
Something to think..
Yet, no solution..
Yet, no answer..

'--I want something--'

Now, the concept is clear..
The content is empty..
I want it, yet I dunno why..
I got the reason wanting it, yet I dunno what I want..
A lot of crossroads ahead..

Is there a chance that..
The sandglass flow upward..?
Bring me Back to December (Taylor Swift)..
And enjoy myself..

Be it, laugh or cry..
Tears of sadness or joy..
I like the moments, I just like it..

'--So, Can I Have It? Yes? No?--'

Someone kept telling me..
'It is all over'
No.. It is not..
But now..
I am just someone without anything..
I lost a lot..

Even worse..
At the same time..
When I think about myself..
I think of others too..
What they feel if I do so..?

'--Why Not? and Why Yes?--'

Sweet and bitter memory..
I hate myself..

-Gaming-

Wtf Dream #2

Before I depart to 'another world'..
You phoned me..
Said nothing..
But.. Only..

'我愿意'

Then we remained silence..